When Women Won’t Say ‘I Do’

This article was originally published at The Federalist.

In 2012 I wrote an article at Fox News entitled “The War on Men” in response to a Pew Research finding that showed women ages 18-34 believe having a successful marriage is “one of the most important things in their lives”— and that fewer men were voicing this same opinion. The takeaway? Women want to marry as much as ever, but men increasingly do not.

And yet, that isn’t the end of the conversation.

The same month that finding released, a different Pew finding fell under the radar. Despite valuing marriage, women have also become laser-focused on career—more so than men. “Two-thirds (66%) of young women ages 18 to 34 rate career high on their list of life priorities, compared with 59% of young men,” write Eileen Patten and Kim Parker.

So while it’s true that men overall are less interested in marriage, it is equally true that more women than men are prioritizing career over marriage. That creates a gap between women and the men who do want to marry.

Though we rarely hear about them, there are many marriage-minded men who’ve carved out career paths and are ready to settle down. Problem is, their girlfriends aren’t. In a stunning reversal of traditional gender roles, it is women, not men, who are now reluctant to walk down the aisle.

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Suzanne Venker

Suzanne is an author, a coach, and a podcast host committed to helping women let go of cultural beliefs that undermine their happiness in life and in love.