Ep. 54: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman:
Danielle Crittenden

In her book, What Our Mothers Didn’t Tell Us, Canadian-American author and journalist Danielle Crittenden examines the foremost issues in women’s lives—sex, marriage, motherhood, work, aging, and politics—and argues that a generation of women has been misled: taught to blame men and pursue independence at all costs.

Happiness is obtainable, Crittenden says, but only if women will free their minds from outdated feminist attitudes.

A longtime contributor to the Huffington Post, Danielle’s articles and essays have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Ladies Home Journal, among others. A former columnist for the New York Post, she has appeared, also among others, on NBC’s Today show, The O’Reilly Factor, 20/20 and Nightline. Danielle is married to David Frum, senior editor at The Atlantic and former speechwriter for George W. Bush. He and Danielle live in DC and have three children.


6:40 Suzanne and Danielle discuss how women’s magazines sell “unhappiness” to women

9:15 Danielle talks about the message in her book, What Our Mother’s Didn’t Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman

11:15 Danielle discusses the messages she grew up with and absorbed via the women’s movement and how she never thought about having kids and was focused on excelling in the workforce, etc.

15:35 Danielle discusses having her first child at 28 and what it was like for her because of her beliefs surrounding men & women and how she changed because of having a child

19:15 Until you have a child, you don’t understand why men and women end up having such different trajectories and priorities. She talks about the support of her husband, too, and why that was integral

24:15 – Danielle & Suzanne discuss how many women are unhappy because wisdom was passed on from people that they trusted is wrong

26:00 Danielle talks about how feminism has been re-invented for the next generation (Gen. Z and millennials) and how they’re struggling today

29:00 Even serious-minded young women are having trouble finding serious-minded, marriageable men, even when the men are a decade older than the women.  How the younger generations, men and women, are not connecting and not even having sex

32:50  Danielle talks about how the “seize the day” culture for women and how it has been taught in the culture, that women and men are no different sexually—which is a lie. How it also freed men to not take responsibility

35:00 – Most women, if they can, want to stay home with their children. Most women do not have glamorous careers.

36:15 – Danielle and Suzanne talk about how young women sleep with men before they even date

38:15 – How porn has influenced sex between men and women and how the hook-up culture is pervasive, which has made young women “afraid” of sex

42:00 – Suzanne and Danielle discuss how men are losing their way as breadwinners and the effect of that

46:50 – People today don’t know how to be married

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne is an author, a coach, and a podcast host committed to helping women let go of cultural beliefs that undermine their happiness in life and in love.