Ep. 79: The Secrets of Happily Married Women & Men:
Dr. Scott Haltzman

Dr. Scott Haltzman, also known as “Dr. Scott,” is internationally recognized for his work on infidelity and in support of marriage. He has appeared on the Today Show, 20/20, Nightline, Good Morning America, The Rachel Ray Show, as well as a whole host of print media.

It will surprise no one who listens to this podcast why I invited Scott on the program. His most recent book is The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity, and his other books include The Secrets of Happily Married Men, and The Secrets of Happily Married Women, and The Secrets of Happy Families.

Need I say more?


4:20  Men need to treat their relationship like their job.

8:50  Know your wife. This is critical to win your her heart

10:49  How to balance work and marriage

14:00  The thought process women go through when they get married vs. what the men feel like

15:50  Expect conflict and deal with it

18:45  Learn to listen.

22:00  Aim to please.

25:36  Understand the truth about sex. Typically, the biggest complaint for men is that their wives don’t want to have enough sex.  Therapists have done men a disservice by telling them that if men do more at home they’ll get more sex.

27:55   Sex has become conditional, when it should just be a part of a marriage.

28:20  Your wife must feel like she’s your priority

34:35  The secrets of happily married women: Men need to feel cared for, men need acknowledgement for their efforts, men have trouble verbalizing love and regret, men need to protect their families, men need to be right and in control, men need action, and men have undeniably strong attraction to females

37:00  The culture has made such a big deal about women caring for men. (Example: cooking for them, etc.)

39:00  Why men need acknowledgement for their efforts and how that affects them

41:00  Men have trouble verbalizing love and regret.

42:00  Trying to protect your family sometimes get perceived as “bullying”

43:20  Men need to be right and in control—it is instinctual

45:40  Men are instinctively attracted to women

49:10 How to “fight better” and the differences between men and women when it comes to fighting

50:30  Learn to talk less/the power of being quiet

53:40  Dr. Haltzman talks how to take charge of your own happiness and the myths surrounding what is a “happy” marriage

55:10  The 4 attributes of happy women: being surrounded by friends being physically active, being involved in life, and being open to spirituality

58:10  Don’t “do,” just breathe

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne is an author, a coach, and a podcast host committed to helping women let go of cultural beliefs that undermine their happiness in life and in love.