Ep. 85: No, Love Is NOT Enough to Make a Family: Katy Faust

You probably know the adult viewpoints on marriage, infertility, reproductive technologies, same-sex parenting, divorce, and adoption. But have you ever considered these matters from the kids’ perspective?

In her new book, Them Before Us, Katy Faust flips the script on adult-centric attitudes toward marriage, parenthood, and reproductive technologies by framing these issues around a child’s right to be raised by both their mother and father.

Set against a backdrop of sound research, the compelling stories throughout each chapter confirm that a child’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being depends on being loved by the two people responsible for their existence. It’s a paradigm shift that will impact the personal and the political, and reframe every marriage and family conversation across the globe.

If you’re tired of a culture that views adults as victims in family matters, when it’s clear the kids are the ones who truly pay the price, this podcast episode is for you.


2:30  The 3 staples of a child’s emotional diet

3:30  One out of every two children is growing up without one of their biological parents

4:00  The gay marriage debate

6:30  The cost associated with speaking the truth

7:10  Them Before Us is a movement of ordinary adults who possess what academia, celebrities politicians do not have: courage

8:00  The Stories

12:00  The difference between adoption and reproductive technology

13:00  The lie that kids need only love and safety and that moms and dads are optional

14:50  Kids living with biological parents are the safest and most well cared for

15:00  An unrelated cohabitating man is the most dangerous person to a child

17:00  The problems with reproductive technology

19:00  Thinking “love” is enough is flimsy and immature Biology matters, marriage matters and gender matters

20:40  A “me” centric world and the courts have wreaked havoc in children’s lives

24:40  The lie that children are resilient and will “get over” their parents’ divorce

25:30  Divorce is terrible, but remarriage is often worse

31:00  We are raising generations of emotionally “starved” children

31:20  Katy talks about her own experience with same sex parenting



Suzanne Venker

Suzanne is an author, a coach, and a podcast host committed to helping women let go of cultural beliefs that undermine their happiness in life and in love.